My Name Was Emily (5)
When I lost Lizzie — or thought I had — a certain part of me simply died inside. I knew I'd never be quite the same again. I'd never love as deeply as I had before. Chloe had felt it, and John did too. I couldn't give either everything they deserved.
In the few hours since the wrap came off, the dead part of me had started glowing to life. For the first time in around one year, I felt positive. I felt serene. I felt a spark of love that I'd thought was gone.
If you wrap it all into just one word, I sensed I was starting to be happy again.
I only wish that Lizzie could feel the same.
She was tucked firmly beneath her sheets. I simply couldn't get her to look at me.
“Hon?” I said, touching her arm.
She pulled it away.
I brought a chair up and sat down by the bed.
“I want it undone,” she finally uttered. I'd known deep down she'd begin with that.
I took a deep breath and let it out quietly. “The plastic surgery is irreversible.” That was what Doctor Lindell explained. She'd age naturally, but couldn't be altered, not after what he'd performed in there. If anyone attempted to change her face, they would be making a horrific mess.
Despite all the tension that was present now, I noticed a warmth welling up in my heart. It thrilled me to know this was permanent.
She turned my way — finally. My face brightened up as I saw her own. I was so pleased just to gaze at her, even if she wore an unsettled expression. “That can't be true,” she muttered in fright.
“It is,” I answered.
“No. It's not.” Her lips began shaking. “I want it undone. I want to go home.”
“This is your face. This is your home.” I willed myself to use a certain name. “Emily...” I mumbled, forcing it out. I'd level with her — but just this once. “I'm never going to utter that name again, because it's simply not who you are anymore. I've got an ID card to verify that. Legally, physically, you are Elizabeth Porter now.” I moved a tad closer, shaking my head. “Can't you see that this is your destiny? You were never happy with your life back 'home.' That was why you always came running to us. We're giving you the family you sought for years — and you're going to give us our Lizzie again.”
She stared at me, not turning away. Were my words actually sinking in?
“You were a depressed and despondent kid. Lizzie touched so many people's lives. You were never destined to thrive in this world. It's obvious that Lizzie was going to.” I took a deep breath, my eyes watering. “It's time for her spirit to live on now. You're the only person who can bring that about.”
“What are you saying?” she asked with a shake.
“I'm saying to let go of who you were. Time to embrace who you're meant to be.” I smiled at her. “You're meant to be Lizzie.”
* * * *
It'd been a few hours since we'd spoken at length. She'd eaten her dinner, then fallen asleep, laying sprawled out in her silken gown. I sat at her feet, massaging them, watching her face with unbridled joy.
I simply couldn't ever lose Lizzie again. I loved my daughter too much for that.
I rose and walked toward the open door. We probably had a long road ahead of us. She wasn't as happy as me right now, but I would work hard so she could be, though.
“Goodnight, sweetie,” I whispered to her. I turned the light off, then left the room.
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